It's been a while but I stagnated. Thought little things. I'll try to update:

But the summary;



I haven't left the house in about 9 months now roughly. I no longer have the strength nor the vehicle. Nor the need really. We never go out (no $ regardless of gluten free issues), I can't do movies in public anymore (other issues), etc.

I have no car to get around anyhow but that is beside the point. I need a power wheelchair now and don't have the $100k for a vehicle to handle one of those. And no they aren't covered under insurance.

My lifestyle change does seem to be working. Gluten free food, as organic as possible. Heavy on the salmon when possible ($) and grass-fed meats. NEVER any gluten or corn syrup. On that note, I wish I had done this YEARS AGO! I feel better, weight is down again (considering I get ZERO exercise, that's something).

My MS seems to be stagnant at the moment. I have good days where I get on the floor and play with the boys, and plenty of bad days where I don't even get out of bed (couldn't if I had to).

I miss my motorcycle the most. I still look for trikes that I could use and even put a wheelchair trailer on, but then comes suiting up which would suck. Plus I love counter-steering and not so much steering. That's what I loved about motorcycles.

I've been into the hospital again now for Kidney Stones. And the nurse there said it was one of the only things more painful then childbirth. I have to agree. I have had stitches without ANY pain killer. That just doesn't hurt me. But this... I was in tears. Suicide was on the brain.

Although now that it's over, the back pain is gone and I can sleep a lot nicer. It's been a few months since that's happened... Although I still have some stones to pass, I think (hope) the big one is gone. I passed one this morning and was like, 'Pisha'. LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER!!! I won't slack off on that again.

I miss my Jeep too. And music. Living in the house, I never get music anymore. I could but I just work 120 hour weeks and listen to videos while I work. Music would be too loud and my headset put a (hopefully not permanent) dent into my head (like 6mm worth also, huge!).

The boys being in the same room all day, they get the TV so that's out. We've considered canceling cable all together anyhow (no $). I need internet for work but that's it. And games sometimes but my hands don't work for that anymore either so no since...

As for Autism, I notice more and more of it coming out the worse I get. This explains a lot but it's so hard to fight it along the way. I wounder how subdued it was before and how pronounced it is now. People close to me say there is a huge difference now. But I just want to stay out of everyone's way.




And for the big one; I've stopped all of my drugs accept Baclophen for my spasms. The Tryliptol I was taking for pain which was to stop taking Oxycodone, stopped it all. Now I'm not stoned but I'm in severe pain. Don't care anymore.

The Tryliptol was causing the edema, weakness, bloated, double-vision, etc... The list is huge. Go down it's side-effects list and I was getting them compounding. Vision was the biggest killer. Couldn't even see to work. Plus constant blisters even though I pump my legs for 3-6 hours EVERY DAY... So I just stopped. Man the pain came flooding back to me but so did my vision. And while I keep pumping my legs, they edema is down and the water alone can take 60% of my strength away, especially at those levels. I've fallen twice cause I couldn't hold myself up and the wheelchair doesn't fit in my budget house!!! (Need wider doors in the Master bed and bath at least) And I need to get a different edema pump honestly.

Oxycodone, I still have a small supply from my 'use as needed' Rx before that I take once rarely (maybe once a month or so) when the crap really hits the fan. I'll probably be on it again at some point but for now my willpower is enough to overcome the pain. Weirdest thing, Anyone touches me, including Kat and it hurts. But the boys... Nothing. Soft. Baby skin perhaps but at least I don't cringe when they touch me, that would be so horrible to them.